Distance makes the heart grow fonder

Let me begin by telling you our story. My girlfriend, Katie, and I began dating late into our junior year of high school blossoming out of a longstanding friendship and hidden crush. We had an amazing summer together, but as soon as senior year started we were faced with the looming truth of college. Acting like mature adults we set about making our list of schools separate from one another so as not to influence each other's choice. Once the application process began we showed our lists to one another and were pleasantly surprised to see that our choices were nearly identical. With this in mind we set about applying for schools. A few months passed and one of the schools we had both applied to, Suffolk University in Boston, had sent us acceptance letters. We were ecstatic; so much weight was taken off my shoulders. Then, the reality settled in. Despite the fact that I had been living in the country for almost ten years, I had not received a residency card yet. Because of this, I was not qualified for any sort of financial aid. Therefore, the $43,000 for tuition at Suffolk was beyond my grasp. So, Katie and I were separated. She went to Boston and yours truly attended NEIU.

However, hope was not lost. I was due to receive my residency card early in 2010. And since I was already accepted at Suffolk, all I had to do was wait until I was qualified for enough financial aid. Which brings me to my first piece of advice: have a set goal.

Most long distance relationships don't work out because of a lack of direction. If you are going to a separate school from your sweetheart and plan on staying there, chances are you will build a life separate from her/him and eventually weaken the bond that kept you together. By setting goals you are able to have a timeline for when you can both look forward to being together again.

Another word of advice comes in the form of commitment and honesty. If you plan on talking to each other that night, then talk to each other. If you tell her/him you will visit for Valentine's Day, then do so. Broken promises and disappointments are much harder to fix when you are a thousand miles away. Furthermore, take advantage of the technology we have today. The reason movies like "The Notebook" are so freaking dramatic is because they did not have cell phones. Call each other when you have a minute, set up webcam dates, leave each other Facebook messages. One of the best ideas Katie and I have had is to set up movie dates. If you have a Netflix account and a webcam you can put the "Watch Instantly" feature to good use. Just pick a movie, connect to each other via webcam and time your movie to start at the same time. Then as the movie plays you can make comments and watch each other's reaction, almost as if you are in the same room.

The final piece of advice to make long distance relationships work, and by far the most important one takes some prior thought. Before you decide to embark on this journey, telling each other you will be faithful and honest despite the distance, you need to make sure they are worth the effort. It may sound cold, but you have to be honest with yourself. You need to honestly believe you are meant to be together because this distance will test your bond. Long distance relationships take a lot of effort and you need to be sure the other person is as committed as you are. Heartbreak can be avoided if you think ahead.

Of course, all of this is merely advice and is not guaranteed to work for everyone. Thankfully, Katie and I have managed to stay together after six months of separation and I am confident we can remain together even if our plan gets delayed another year. So, if you are planning to dedicate the effort into making a long distance relationship work, I wish you the best. Maybe my story has helped you see that it can work.