Why Soccer Will Never Be Popular In The States

I've been most fortunate to be able to leave the country many times and see many things this year, and one thing that I always find myself having to explain, as an American, is why we don't like football   (or soccer as  it s better known here). I usually follow up by saying that I like football and I'm very likely to ignore phone calls, social gatherings or free money giveaways if the US or any formidable foes are playing. This is followed by, "what about the rest of the country?"

To answer such a question would require a mass consensus of all Americans and have them be able to answer it with a short yes or no answer. Unfortunately, I don't think I can get everyone's email, read the nonsense that would be in those emails about us not being European or some other derogatory words and a few would probably respond with how they love football and Peyton Manning is their favorite. This has lead me to some sort of idea as to why football will never fully catch on in America.

1) Americans are tough. As a colony of farmers we fought off the scariest imperial armies of all time with no preparation. As a new nation we defeated one of the largest, well-trained armies in this hemisphere and have California, Arizona, New Mexico, and a few other states, as proof. As a joke to the rest of the Western world, America came in and liberated pretty much all of Europe from the most elite invading forces of all time. America is a tough country, so when a person who has conditioned themselves for years and is in great shape riles in pain on the ground (whether it is real or not) from being bumped into or having their feet swept, we do not care and will not sympathize. I think of Byron Leftwich playing a game winning drive in college football with a shin he had broken in that possession. Other football players come out with concussions, broken fingers, partially torn ACLs and somehow the expectation to watch someone play coward will probably fall upon deaf ears.

2) America is the land of Michael Bay, fast action video games and instant gratification. A 90-minute match that results in a 0-0 score does not bode well for the fans. Strategy only is viewable if there is some gratification at the end. This shows even more as baseball is losing viewers to mixed martial arts and NASCAR. Americans need something instant and football, or soccer, does not fill that need.

3) Last but not least, as Americans going through the public education system, we are taught we are the best country in the world and are filled with many elite roles, responsibilities and joys. So, when America puts its name on the line and gets defeated by an impoverished nation, America cannot take the blow to its image. Look back to point one of this article and my rant of our armed forces winning essentially every war, and keep in mind we do not acknowledge losing anything when our name is at stake in our history.

 As a whole, I might be right on a few points, or I could be completely wrong. Someone is going to come up to me in a few days after the publishing of this article and tell me they are really into football and think that I'm wrong. If they elaborate their point beyond "You suck." I will love it.