If you go to NEIU and have a Facebook account, then you must know of Lavina Sherrill. How could you not? She’s friends with practically everyone at our school, and it’s pretty obvious as to why.
Just look at her profile. She’s a fan of Bon Jovi, loves “deep conversations” and one of her favorite quotes is “music washes away from the soul the dust of everyday life” by famous Boston Celtics president, Red Aurbach. If that’s not enough reason to want to be her friend, just look at her pictures to see that she can play a mean Guitar Hero. What’s not to love about this girl?
Sure, so far I’ve yet to meet anyone that has actually met this girl, but it’s clear that she’s the most popular person at NEIU. Just two days ago her friend count on Facebook was a measly 863, and as I write this article, it’s jumped to 1,186. Lavina Sherrill is as viral as Chris Crocker’s “leave Britney alone!” video.
Lavina Sherrill also cares about people. She’s a fan of the Facebook page, ¡Humboldt Park NO SE VENDE! Campaign. Personally, no hablo Español so I don’t understand what that means, but it sounds like it’s a good cause, so let’s split the difference and say that she’s philanthropic.
I think that with her kind of popularity, she should run for Student Government or Student Trustee. She may only have minor, if any, political aspirations (her page doesn’t specify) but she’s obviously the best candidate to represent the NEIU student body. Just ask any other student here what they think about Lavina Sherrill, and I’m sure they wouldn’t even know where to begin.
Quite frankly, I don’t know why Lavina Sherrill should stop at SGA or the Student Trustees. If there’s one thing she’s proved, it’s that she can gain a massive amount of support in a miniscule amount of time. I think that she might even be able to win public office in Illinois. Forget Quinn, I say we impeach him now and elect Lavina Sherrill as the new governor of Illinois.
Actually, even governor wouldn’t do justice to the great Lavina Sherrill. I say we look at an even bigger picture: the White House. Sure, she may be too young to run for president, but if there’s one thing I learned from the last presidential election, it’s that qualifications don’t matter for Vice President. Right McCain? Move over Sarah Palin. The new face of brunette under-qualified female Vice-Presidential candidates is Lavina Sherrill, and she’s on a mission.
Lavina Sherrill is here, and she’s about to take over. She’s already dominating Facebook, and it’s only a matter of time before she takes over Illinois, and then the United States. She won’t stop there though; it’s plain to see that she’s got her sights set on the entire world. Everyone, let’s make this happen. Add Lavina Sherrill today.
**Hope you enjoyed our April Fool’s edition. All names and events are fictitious. Except, of course, those that are not.