Sometimes I wish I had a stamp. A big, rubber stamp the size of my face that read, “WRONG!” and an inkpad, also face-sized or larger, with disappearing ink. I would carry these around with me in a tasteful satchel and use them to stamp people who wear Hawaiian shirts with sweatpants or body glitter on any kind of regular basis.
The fact is: I applaud everyone who steps out his or her door having made any kind of conscious effort. We all want to look good in what we’re wearing. I can’t think of any reason why a person would head off to work or class thinking, “Boy, oh boy! I sure look awful today! Thank goodness for spandex!” However, those efforts may often be…well, misguided. I am here to help with all that. You lost souls with “Cosby” sweaters, “Tweety-Bird” hoodies, and tendencies towards excessive shoulder-pad usage, I am here to be your guide.
I’ll start by dispelling my least-favorite myth; an article of clothing is NOT going to make you look good simply because it is “trendy.” For example: leggings. This can be a tricky area for some people because they mistake the role of the leggings. They are meant to be worn as an accent piece to a tunic, short dress or skirt or long tee. Too often I see the misguided use of these thin, footless and usually jersey cotton facsimiles of nylon tights in such a way that substitutes them for pants. Unless you plan on breaking into interpretive dance as you hop on the el, don’t wear leggings and a tee shirt. They are not jeans! A general rule of mine, no matter the wearer, is if I can see cheek or crotch, leggings aren’t enough. A simple way to test this, if you are unsure before stepping out the door, would be to take off the leggings and, if it’s still appropriate to go out in public without them, put them back on and congratulate yourself! You have successfully accented your outfit with just a peek of added coverage that makes it that much sexier.
One of my favorite pastimes is to “read” (I use the term loosely) fashion magazines. I love fashion. I love how someone who truly understands it, be they a designer, photographer, model, or even writer, can create philosophy, poetry or even theory with clothes and the way they exist on a human body. Your style, (which is not always necessarily the same thing as fashion) is your everyday art. No matter who you are, what you do, where you go, where you’re from or whether or not you care to admit it, you chose to put your clothes on and go out in public wearing them, thereby projecting that particular message. True, that message may or may not always be…well, pretty, but it is still art. And art, for better or worse, cannot ever be bad.
So perhaps I need to take stock for a moment. I’m not willing to part with the idea of my “WRONG” stamp. What is art, after all, without healthy criticism? Besides, my girls (let’s call them C and A) would never stand for it. So I’ll make a compromise: I will add, to that tasteful satchel, a “RIGHT” stamp. I think you can guess what I plan on doing with it.
I’d LOVE to hear from you! E-mail questions or commentary to me at the.stamp1@gmail.com